10 days and counting.... REALLY!?!

So I have decided it is time to resurrect the good ol' BLOG! I'm still not convinced very many people will read it, but I guess I'll have to have some faith in that and just waiting and see. I guess at this point, at least I will have some grandparents and relatives who will tune in for some updates on "Baby K" when she arrives and begins to grow before our eyes (instead of in my belly)!
I have to admit: I read so many great blogs, some too good (A.Mc.), that I have been a little intimidated to return to this attempt at being whitty, insightful and entertaining. At this point, I know that most of the entertainment in our lives is going to come from our precious baby girl, so it really doesn't matter what I think :)
Yes, it's true! Baby K is suppose to make her big entrance in 10 days. Although I know it's unlikely it will be within that 24 hour period, I am ready for her whenever she is!! There is a lot to prepare but some days I feel like the most important preparation is mental. It's just so hard to imagine what it will be like when she is here and we get to take care of her every day! Caleb and I are excited about the adventure God has in store for us, but I know it will also be one of the most difficult things we will ever do together.
Despite the embarrassment, here is a little peek at just how much I have changed in this process. This is a picture of my mother and sister-in laws sharing the day at the Baby Shower the church hosted for me here in Boulder.

It's Official!

So I think it's slightly ironic that on July 3rd I received my permanent resident card! Just in time for everyone to probably give me a hard time about that on "America's the best country in the world!" Day! (Please know me well enough to know that was completely sarcastic.) These last 11 months this process has been on my mind. The paperwork was terrible, the wait was horrible, the interview was really no biggie at all, and now I have the card. I don't feel any different of course. The card is so intricate that I now understand why it cost $1400!! Maybe if half that cost didn't go towards the printing of that piece of plastic, it would be more affordable for all us illegal immigrants to become legal!!!

Now, I wait..... AGAIN! Wait til we get on our feet enough to think about going back to Canada for a visit. I have missed Regina and all it's fine people, the few special ones that live in Winnipeg and just plain Saskatchewan spring and summer a lot lately! A few weddings and anniversaries have past already this summer..... making me realize YOU PEOPLE SHOULD ALL HAVE FACEBOOK! I've tried to call a few.... TIM, YOUR PHONE NUMBER DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE! It's weird how much the realization that life has gone on without me is more than that.... life will continue to go on without me. So instead of crying and saulking about this (which I do on occasion), I have challenged myself to be a better friend! I am going to have to perfect this character flaw or time will only separate me more.

For those of you who have known me most of my life, you know how much this pains me. To JO, TK. DE, CE, LA, TR, JS, TB and all your spouses and parents, if/as I continue to fail at this attempt, please forgive me. I love you all and miss you terribly. My failed attempt to remain a dear friend has cost me this last year. (Strangely, probably the second hardest year I have ever experienced.) The past 29 years (almost) will always mark your deep importance and role in my life and time will never lessen that! I hope to same is true for you!

So as I look ahead to the life God has brought me, it does bring mixed emotions, honestly. I am so blessed by my husband, his family, and those who have impacted my life already in the last 11 months. He is my best friend, my partner in ministry, the one I dream with. I believe I have the best of both worlds here in Colorado; the weather and the relative distance to SK and TX. But I will always long for the simple life of Canada! I think this is evident in what I did this morning when I woke up to this 4th of July! I MADE PUFFED WHEAT CAKE AND NANAIMO BARS! HAHAHA

As I wait

I am sitting in a random church parking lot, waiting for my husband with nothing but my iPhone to keep me occupied. If you have seen an iPhone before, u will know this is not hard. I am waiting for him because our car overheated on the way home from work. Our car overheated bc the secondary fan is not working. The fan is not working bc we hit a very large dog last night. Like 100 lbs. This being our second injured or dead animal accident in three months. It was slightly numerous listening to the insurance claims lady go over the process of taking our car in and getting a rental after going through five rental cars in the two months it took to get the deer accident fixed. Alas, my prince is here. Off for now!

Job Searching

For myself, I continued to look for an Admissions job. Due to being restricted by my visa, this is the only option for me at this point. I had an interview at Missouri Baptist University, then just a few weeks ago, another one at LU near my house. After the Director called me back from MBU and told me they had hired someone internal, Caleb and I just had to believe that God was not sending a job my way because we were not going to be staying in St. Louis.
Caleb's job search was accelerated early in January when Southeast CofC in Aurora, CO called to schedule a phone interview. Before the end of January, we had plane tickets in hand for the two of us to fly out there for a weekend long interview. I will skip all the details of the LLLOOONNNGGG interview process but we can back from CO Feb. 11th just waiting to see what God was going to bring because we really had no idea.
Within the last few days of February, Caleb and I made our decision. The job at Southeast was offered to him and we decided to accepted. We needed it to be then so I could give sufficient notice to my landlady and hope to not incur more cost that we couldn't afford. With many tears and sadness, we told DPcC that we would be leaving at the end of March for a new ministry opportunity.
We are excited and so grateful for what God is providing through this opportunity. It's going to be a hard few weeks. I ask for prayers from anyone who might read this as we prepare to leave teens and families that have been impacted greatly by Caleb's work over the last 15 months. There will be new challenges and frustrations as they learn to continue to grow and become who God wants them to be without the direct care or guidance from a youth minister. Maybe I will share some of their stories later, but for now I need to get upstairs to see how "my kids" are doing with their schoolwork :) I'll leave you with this picture. (click on title of this blog) We are so thankful to God for these moments that we have been able to share with teens these last few weeks. There is a peace that our work here is truly fruitful and finished.

January's GIANT leap of faith

I hit up work at SBC for a few more days after we got back from Texas. We had to head back to Oklahoma for New Years weekend for Evan and Laura's wedding, so it was a quick turn around. To put it mildly, it was to worse week of employment I have ever had in my life (yes, worse than working at Roots!). That weekend to almost got to the point that I had a panic attack on Sunday at church, just at the thought of going back there on Wednesday. Caleb and I talked about it al the way to Mark and Darci's in OKC that day. He was an amazing support! I could not have asked for a better fiance who understood me and the situation. So, I called SBC on New Years Eve and told them I would be quitting and coming to pick up my stuff when I got back into town. And that's how it worked. I walked in, packed up my desk and was escorted out. 10 of the most uncomfortable minutes of my life!
We had no idea what I was going to do, but I knew I could no longer function working there. It was affecting my sleep, appetite, and joy for life!
Caleb was gone to NCYM that week, so I woke up every morning searching craigslist and wracking my brain as to how I was going to make some money. That week a couple answered my ad on craigslist and purchased my car. I cancelled all other unnecessary expenses and just prayed that God would take care of us! It sure was an interesting time.
Late one night, I answered an ad on Craigslist for a family who was looking for a "mother's assistant." I didn't really think much of it because there are several of those, but when I emailed the lady, I just really felt like I needed to be open and honest with her about my situation. She had expressed in the ad that she was looking for someone who feared God, loved children, and was flexible. I thought, "Sure!" So the next morning, she emailed me back and we connected immediately. Caleb and I went to first meet the Biermann's one Tuesday night and it's been a close and meaningful relationship ever since. Tom and Kristi have four kids at home. Three of them are adopted from Belarus where they were born and living in an orphanage 50 miles from the site of the Chernobyl blast. Kristi homeschools the kids at this point, but was struggling because she suffers from fibromyalgia. This family's need was a Godsend for me because it has basically allowed me to cover my bills and expenses for these last two months.

Quick December

December was a rough month for me at work. I continued to be displeased with the ethics, training, and management. It became more and more clear to me that it wasn't me... this job was just not right for someone with my morals and convictions for post-secondary education and as a Christian. The night before Caleb and I flew to Dallas for Christmas with the Cox family, I had "that conversation" with my boss in which I came to the conclusion that I could not continue to hone my skills at SBC to be successful because every number I dialed and every time someone picked up the phone (and didn't immediately hang up on me), I could not even fake that I believed what I was saying. Even though I know that man believe I was weak or lazy, I would not compromise my belief system and destroy my passion for college students by staying there.
I had also received an interview at a local, private University close to my house about mid December. I felt so excited about how it had gone that I was anxiously waiting for that return phone call to offer my a job. This would have been amazing because of it's location, standards and morals of the University, and I would have been back working with families and freshman who are excited about what the world has to offer them. Alas, that phone call did not come.....
During this time, Caleb found out from the elders at church that their financial situation had not seemed to mend itself and they were running out of money in his salary fund. This money would be gone by the end of March. He was quick to tell them that, despite the fact that his priority would be to stay at DPcC longer to continue the ministry he had worked hard for, he needed to think long term as we were looking towards our wedding and family. So he began to look for youth ministry jobs elsewhere.
Christmas arrived! It was such an amazing, fun, goofy, rewarding, and assuring time! Curly and Trissa picked us up at the airport in Dallas and we made the most of our 5 days with family. We went to Abilene, where I was inducted into the Lutrell family, Pecos to meet and hang out with the extended Cox family, and back to Brownwood for Christmas with Caryn, Dale, and Kristi. It was amazing to be in the new house in May (that's the town), and enjoy time away from the city. I felt truly blessed to be entering into this family.

November

November brought interesting things into my life. I started a new job "SBC" as an Admissions Representative. Caleb and I began to figure out how we were going to fit into each other's lives on a daily basis; beyond the hour or so on the phone each night. And, my mother came to St. Louis for a visit over American Thanksgiving.
I will say more about my new job in St. Louis later, but in general, imagine my entire passion and drive for the job I loved at OC.... got it! Now, think of everything that could possibly to opposite of it. It was hell!
Of course, that made the transition to a new place and a new dynamic in our "to be married" relationship difficult. But we trudged through and trusted in God.
I had a great 4 or 5 days with my mom! We did a lot of shopping and even found my wedding dress. It was really important for me to be able to do that with her. Being here without my girlfriends and sisters, I wasn't looking forward to finding a dress all by myself. We took mom several different places to eat, see the sights and just hang out. For those of you who know her, you can see from the picture that she was sooooo excited about seeing historical St. Charles, which is about 3 blocks from my house. She spent about 4 hours on 6 blocks of shops and didn't get done. Some things never change!
And.... that's a summary of November.